Loss and Sacrifice
by Deberzer
Summary: A collection of tragic AU one shots that are unrelated to each other.
1. End of the Battle

**End of the Battle  
**

_The last moments on Yamatai - with a twist._

POV: Lara

Based on a prompt by otpprompts on Tumblr.

Thanks a lot again to TeenyTinyIrishPerson for beta reading!

* * *

I was so tired. So endlessly tired...

How long had I been on this bloody island? I didn't know any more. I couldn't _think_ any more. My memories were foggy; hazy pictures of an endless battle for survival that had drained all of my energy.

Trance-like, I watched drops of blood fall from the tip of my chin, tainting the snow at my feet. I'd gotten used to the metallic taste in my mouth by now. The icy storm felt like thousands of needles pricking the skin of my bare arms. I was shivering. Countless cuts, slashes and gashes radiated blinding pain through every inch of my beaten body. Trying to focus my eyes on another drop of blood worsened the pulsing headache. My stomach turned. I clutched at my waist where the rubar had punctured me. I just wanted to lay down and rest.

I winced when a scream reached my ears through the blowing wind. I recognized the voice.

_Sam._

I couldn't give up now. I had gone through hell to come to her rescue. She was all that mattered now. I had to get to her. I had to find a last reserve of energy inside me.

I reached forward and wrapped a shaking hand around the handle of the climbing axe. I looked at the busted knuckles and realized, I couldn't feel my fingers. Mustering up some of that last strength I had left in my aching muscles, I tugged at my axe and removed it from the skull of the massive Oni, I'd somehow managed to kill. I almost toppled when it came free with a sprinkling of an oddly coloured fluid that emerged from the Stormguard's head. I turned around and forced myself forward, holding up an arm to shield my eyes from the storm. My limbs weren't made of bones and flesh any more, they only consisted of pain. I stumbled up a short set of broken stairs and scuffled over a stone bridge. Fighting with heavy eyelids, I could make out a blueish glow ahead of me.

_Sam... No, no. Please, hang on! I'm coming._

I stepped through a broken, wooden archway and onto the stony ground of the plateau at the top of the mountain. Close enough to look through the snowy gusts of wind; I was horrified by the scene in front of me. Sam, clad in a ceremonial gown, hovered over the ground. Kneeling on a stone pedestal, the rotten remnants of the Sun Queen were glowing brightly with some kind of blueish energy that seemed to stream into Sam. How was this even possible? Was it even real? I... I couldn't think straight. I needed to help Sam. This island had taken everything from me. I'd lost Roth. I'd lost my innocence. And apparently, I'd lost my sanity. I was _not _going to let it take Sam away from me, as well. The only person left in the world that loved me. The only person left that _I loved._ Sam was my world. I could not let her become a shell for the rotten soul of this wretched witch.

With an aching arm, I took the bow from my back and drew back its string with an ignited arrow. The bow was shaking in my hands.

"No!" I heard Mathias' voice.

A loud bang. And before I could release the arrow, the bow was torn from my hands. _What? No!_ I needed to help Sam! Startled, I looked at Mathias. Another bang. I winced, but couldn't feel an impact. I wasn't sure if I'd feel an impact even if he hit me, though. I removed my own gun from the holster and held it up with a shaking hand. Swaying on unsteady legs, I shot aimlessly into Mathias' general direction. He came running towards me, screaming. I squeezed the trigger again, but I just couldn't control my aching limbs any more. He caught up to me and knocked the gun out of my hand. My reaction time had severely suffered from the state I was in. Mathias' fist came swinging back and connected with my face. I saw my blood flying through the air. Another layer of pain added to the unbearable, pulsing headache. Unable to hold my balance, I spun around from the force of the punch. Propping myself up on an arm, I came back up into something that could resemble a standing position. He needed to get out of my way. I needed to get to Sam. I had to help her. _Now!_ I grabbed my axe and plunged it into his back with as much force as I could muster, when he came running into me, throwing me onto the ground. My weapons clattered over the ground. When my own body hit the stone, I got the wind knocked out of me. I groaned. Straddling my legs, Mathias removed the axe from his back. I caught a glimpse of his gun hanging from his belt, when he shoved the handle of my axe down at me, aiming at my neck. My hands shot up in defence and I concentrated my last bits of strength into my arms, trying to push the axe away. Somehow, I managed to shove it into him. He tumbled backwards. I clutched at his gun, held it up and shot. He screamed. Blood from his shoulder showered down onto me. He toppled away. Trying to prop myself up, I caught sight of my own gun lying on the ground. I picked it up, aimed both of them at him and pulled the triggers. He'd picked up my shotgun and aimed. When the bullets from my guns hit him, a misdirected shot escaped his weapon. I pulled the triggers again and again and again. Bang after bang after bang. The bullets ripped through his body. Blood sprayed into the air. Pained screams escaped his mouth. Until the guns only produced clicking noises. I was out of ammunition. Mathias fell backwards. Over the edge. And down into the abyss.

He was gone. I was dazed.

_Sam. Sam!_

I turned around and tumbled towards her floating body. I had to help her somehow. I had to destroy Himiko. I crawled up the pedestal, shielding my eyes from the blinding bursts of energy emitting from the Sun Queen. I ignited my torch, lifted it up... and plunged it into the decayed corpse.

It caught fire. It burnt. It screamed. It exploded.

The storm ebbed down.

Silence.

I... I won. I'd done it. It was over. I could hardly believe it.

I shook myself out of it. _Sam._ _Please, be okay._

With no strength left inside me, I sank down onto my knees next to her body. "Sam! Oh Sam..." I stared at her through heavy eyelids. It took a while before the picture of what I was looking at penetrated the fog in my mind. I gaped in disbelieve. No. No! _No no no!_ Her gown was drenched in blood. A shot that must have come from the shotgun had ripped through her waist. _No._ This was not possible. It couldn't be possible. _Please._ It couldn't be real. Not after everything I had gone through. Not after everything she had gone through. Sam. _My Sam._ I clutched at her body, desperately trying to press my hands onto the wound. It was too large to cover. Blood seeped through my fingers, flowing over my hands. I couldn't believe this was happening. I felt numb. Disconnected. Tears had built up in my eyes and started running down my cheeks.

I startled, when she suddenly jerked, coughing up blood. "Lara...?" Her voice was faint. She looked so pale. So sick.

I wanted to reply. Wanted to say something. Anything. But the words caught in my throat.

"Lara..."

I picked her up, laid her torso over my legs, holding her head up in my arm, the other hand still pressed onto her wound. I tried to speak again and managed to break through the block in my throat. "Sam... I'm here." My voice was croaky.

She fought to open her eyes. "Urgg, wha? ... What's happening?" She looked confused.

"Shhh... shhh..." I paused. "You... you..." I couldn't bring out the words. A new wave of tears ran down my face. I just gaped at her, drawing ragged breathes.

The heavy clouds in the sky started to clear up. The sun came through. Soothing sunrays lit the ancient monastery, illuminating Sam in my arms. Her white gown seemed to glow. She looked _so_ beautiful. My poor Sam.

Slowly, she turned her head, looking around. "Oh... Still here," she whispered with a deep tone of resignation.

I just wanted to comfort her. "You're safe now. It's okay..." I lied.

She looked back at me. "Lara, you came." She smiled for a moment. Suddenly, she coughed and winced in pain, before relaxed back into my arm. "You saved me... I knew you would."

"I... I made you... a..." My voice caught again. My throat was so tight. My jaw was shivering. "I... I'm so, _so_ sorry." I pressed my lips together, trying to suppress sobs.

"Lara?" Her tiny voice. "What happened?" She coughed again, grimacing. She lifted her head and looked down her body. "Oh..." Her eyebrows went up. She leant back again. "Is it bad?"

I watched her for a moment, before I was able to speak. "I... I don't know," I tried to lie. But I could see it on her face that she didn't believe me. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Mathias, he..." My voice was wavering. I released her wound and wrapped both arms around her, hugging her.

"It's not your fault, sweetie." She put a shaking hand over mine. "Just... hold me, please. I want to be with you. I want to hear your voice." Her eyes closed.

Not my fault...? It was _my_ obsessions that had brought us here. _I_'d led us onto this island. _I_ had taken Sam with me. I stroked her cheek, smearing some of her blood over it. "Shhhh. I'm here. I'm here for you. I'll always be." I leant down and planted a kiss on her forehead. I just wanted to comfort her somehow. But there was nothing comforting I could say. Wanting to break the silence, I started to sing to her with my shaking voice.

"You are my sunshine

My only sunshine."

I had to pause to catch my breath, when Sam's lips formed a faint smile. My chest was so tight. A new wave of tears built up.

"You make me happy

When skies are grey.

You'll never know, dear..."

I faltered and sobbed for a moment.

"How much I love you..."

Tears ran down my face again. Sam slightly opened her eyes and gave me a warm smile.

"Please don't take... my sunshine away." My heart broke.

A dam inside me breached, and I couldn't hold back any more. I held the free hand over my mouth and I cried. I cried with deep, open sobs.

Sam pressed her lips into a thin line, her eyebrows furrowed. She weakly lifted an arm and put a hand on my cheek, gently stroking it with her thumb. I leant my head into it.

After a while, I regained my voice for a moment and continued through my whimpers.

"The other night, dear,

When I lay sleeping,

I dreamed I held you in my arms."

I hugged her closer to me.

"When I awoke, dear,

I... I was..."

I couldn't bring the words over my lips any more. Sobs escaped my mouth instead. Sobs I just couldn't stop.

Sam pressed her eyes shut for a moment, wincing in pain. She was shaking. When she opened her eyes again, they were swimming. She slowly wet her dry lips and continued for me in her faint voice,

"I was mistaken,

So I hung my head and cried.

You are my sunshine,

My only sunshine..."

She coughed. Blood escaped her mouth. Her arm fell down.

"You make me happy,

When skies are grey..."

I could see her life ebb away with every word. I couldn't bear it. But I also couldn't possibly look away. I needed to be there for her.

"You'll never know... dear...

How much..."

She looked deep into my teary eyes.

"I... love... you..."

She opened her mouth again, as if she wanted to continue. But instead, she let out a deep breath and her eyes rolled upwards. Her head fell against my body.

I forced the words out of my mouth.

"Please don't take... my sunshine away..."

I sank down. I crumbled. I collapsed onto Sam's body and cried and cried and cried, until I was dead inside.

My world had ended.


	2. The Perfect Day

**The Perfect Day**

POV: Sam

Based on a prompt on otpprompts on Tumblr.

Thanks a lot to TeenyTinyIrishPerson for beta reading!

* * *

Valentine's Day _and_ her birthday? What better day was there for this present? It was totally genius... right?

I dropped my head, eyes fixed on the little box in my lap. Eyebrows lowered almost meeting in the middle, I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before pressing my lips back into a thin line.

My mind was a complete mess. There were just too many thoughts swirling around and fighting for dominance to pick up and process any of them. Or maybe I just didn't have the courage or strength to think about any of that.

Hoping to distract myself, I slowly opened the box and looked at Grandma's ring inside.

God, Dad is going to be _so_ furious when he finds out that I took it. We haven't had the best of relationships in the past decade in the first place. I was really worried about his reaction and the aftermath of my 'cunning theft'. But I wanted that ring. The moment I'd thought about one for Lara, I'd remembered Grandma's beautiful ring Dad had been keeping in a glass cabinet at home and just knew it'd be perfect for her. She would have so loved it, I just knew it. Even though Dad had said "No", I had to have it, and Lara's birthday had been so close. So, I just... Dad's gonna disinherit me or something.

I shrugged mentally and sighed.

Oh, Lara... How was I even going to tell her? What should I say to her?

"Big day, eh?"

I startled when the cab driver's voice suddenly cut through the silence. His eyes were staring at me through the rearview mirror.

I was about to snap at him with some nasty remark that it was none of his business; but he looked so sympathetic that I instantly felt regretful.

"Yeah," I said instead dragging the word out and gave him a pained smile. I closed the box and put it back into a pocked of my coat.

"Worried that he'll say no?"

I just raised my shoulders and shook my head slightly hoping that he'd get the hint that I wasn't in the mood to talk.

"Hm," he murmured and returned his attention to the road.

I turned to look out a side window. The weather hadn't improved at all over the past few days. It had been shitty when I'd left for Japan a week ago and it was still shitty when I returned today. The storm was still raging, the sky still had an endless supply of dark clouds, and the Atlantic Ocean was still trying to conquer the UK from above. The rain had washed away all of London's colors, leaving only gray tones to distinguish what I was looking at. Through the trickles running down the window glass I watched a few pedestrians here and there struggling to keep their umbrellas and a biker struggling to see what was in front of him.

Fortunately the weather wasn't messing with London's air traffic. It was already afternoon and I really didn't want to completely miss Lara's birthday. I couldn't miss it. She deserved that I be there for her today. I'd taken this cab straight from the airport to get to her as fast as possible.

Oh, Lara...

"All right, we're... Are you sure this is the right address?" The car had stopped and the driver turned to look at me.

I sighed.

"Yeah... Unfortunately. Thanks." I gave him some money, grabbed my belongings and left the cab.

I opened the umbrella and shouldered it almost horizontally against the gusts of wind. Listening to the dull sound of raindrops hitting its taut material, I stood still on the pavement for a minute, face buried in one hand. Being here, I always had feelings as diverse as the scenery in front of me; a black metal gate between bright brick pillars under lush trees towering over the entrance. I was looking forward to talking to Lara again, but...

When my legs felt as though I'd just jumped into a river, I took a deep breath and slowly strode forward through the portal. As if this place was trying to protect the slumber of its inhabitants, the wind ebbed down to a pleasant breeze struggling to sway the widespread leaf canopy that held the rain at bay.

This place was beautiful, in a calm and eerie way. The first time I'd seen it, I'd known it was perfect for her.

I made my way into more remote corners of the area, walking over gravel and earth paths past old gravestones standing oblique overgrown with ivy and moss as though they'd grown out of the ground as part of the forest. I frowned as I passed a few mysterious looking tombs; subtly ornamented stone archways framing dark descents into who knows where. I'd tried to move heaven and hell to get one of those for Lara, but the forces of bureaucracy had been stronger.

A few minutes later, I reached a white granite gravestone, untouched by the flora it seemed to glow amid the ragged surrounding. With furrowed eyebrows I looked down and reread the inscription for the millionth time.

She wanted to make her mark  
She made one deep in my heart  
She died saving her best friend  
Please watch over me till the end

My guardian angel  
Lara Croft

Gifted to the world  
14th February 1992  
Taken away far too soon  
11th August 2013

I crouched down and gently ran a hand over the headstone, as if Lara was able to feel it.

"Hey sweetie, happy birthday." I forced a smile onto my lips; I really wanted to be cheerful for her today.

"I'm really sorry that I haven't visited you lately. I've been in Japan to get something for you. But first..."

I put the handle of my umbrella between shoulder and neck, opened a bag and held up a thousand paper origami cranes threaded on a white string. Looking at them, I had to laugh once at the awkwardness of it. What had I been thinking? Uh...

"I hope you like them. I made them for you. Yeah, I know. 'Me?' Hah... Took like forever. I'm pretty sure I could have gotten into the book of records for most paper cuts." I tried to laugh but the pain in my chest distorted the sound that escaped my throat. I frowned.

"You know, it's said that I'm granted a wish." I placed the cranes against the headstone.

"The only thing I want is for you to be with me again." I sighed. "But I know that's impossible. So, I just wish that you're happy wherever you are."

I looked at the cranes for a while, watching them crumble slowly as the rain drenched the paper. I sighed at length again. I leant my umbrella against the gravestone and pressed the handle into the ground to secure it a bit. Raindrops started to drizzle onto the top of my head while I kept fidgeting with the umbrella to delay having to bring up my other present. When I realized that my behavior was ridiculous, I faux-cleared my throat trying to bring up the courage to go on.

"Okay, so, I've visited Dad and... Uh... Where do I start?" I felt awkward and nervous. My heart started racing. I ran a hand through my wet hair as I tried to find the right words.

"I'm sorry, this is going to be _so_ cheesy, but please hear me out, okay?" The hand absently slipped into a pocket and toyed with the little box.

"I don't think you even know how much you've done for me. Like when I started studying film... You know how things were; no one took me serious, especially not my parents, it was a load of bullshit. But you supported me, you believed in me. You know I'm stubborn, but even my head can only run through so many walls before it breaks. You made sure that never happened. When I fucked up all kinda crap again and again, you didn't judge, you never talked me down. When I was upset god knows how many times because of my parents, you never got tired of me. You were just... always there for me, you comforted me, you cheered me up, you helped me sort things out." I took a deep breath as tears started to well in my eyes.

"You just... You... Lara, I don't know how I'll manage without you." I buried my face in my hand as those tears ran down my cheeks.

"Shit, shit, I'm sorry. I didn't want to cry on your birthday. Sorry." I ran a sleeve of my coat over my face and sighed.

"Fuck, I'm such a wreck," I whispered before swallowing down the lump that was forming in my throat.

I put a shaking hand on the granite. "What I want to say is... You've been the pillar of strength that I needed, always friendly and sweet and – god – so gorgeous. Lara, I- I love you. I love you so much. You're the first and only person in my life that I really love, with all my heart. But I was always so afraid to tell you, afraid you wouldn't return those feelings, afraid it would get weird between us. Every time I was about to tell you, I chickened out. But then... When you saved me on that godforsaken hellhole... The way you looked at me when you said you'd made a promise, I knew... I just knew. After all the crap I- we went through there, this was the happiest moment in my life. Before... Before you..." Tears started to well up again.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry you had to endure so much- too much to save me."

I took the little box out of my pocket and, holding it in front of me, stared at it for a minute or two.

"I wish so much that I told you earlier..." I felt a fresh wave of tears run down my cheeks as I opened the box and held it towards her in my trembling hands. "There is this Japanese proposal: 'Do you want to lie in the same grave with me?'" I forced a smile for her.

"Isn't it beautiful?" I took a few quick breathes to steady my croaky voice as I placed the box with the ring in the middle of a withered flower wreath.

"We can be together now... finally." I sank down to my knees and put my head into my hands as my voice gave up and I couldn't stop myself from crying anymore.

_I wish so much that you were here with me._


End file.
